Ginger Snap Cookie

 Well, I've been going to a dating site and I have to say that men are creepy. Especially desperate ones.

Personally, I'm not desperate. While I want to be in a relationship, I don't feel the need to throw myself at someone.

Here are some of my experiences after a week:

1 guy wanted an intimate/no strings attached "relationship." While I found that offensive, I gave him an A+ for being honest and upfront so that he and I weren't wasting our time.

1 guy immediately wanted my phone number. *cringe* Like Ii'm going to give you my number.

2 guys wanted to go on a date immediately. Do these people not realize how fucking creepy that is?

1 guy seemed really nice. We talked for a few days and then decided to meet. We arranged the date and then he said, "There's something I need to tell you." And I thought, "Here we go." I was thinking maybe he was a child molester or criminal of some sort. Well, he wasn't, thank god.

It does turn out however, that what he had to tell me should have been disclosed to me beforehand. And now I don't want to go for coffee. He's got an illness and I don't want to deal with it. You have to understand that I went through my dad's illness and that was bad. REALLY bad. And I don't want to go through something like that again.   I can't do it, I just can't.  I can't deal with the suffering.

I don't want to be a nursemaid for the rest of my life. I'm just being honest. I want to be able to do things and go places and not have to worry about flare ups. It's bad enough worrying about my asthma, which is not debilitating to me. And that's not even considering that I want kids. How would we support ourselves, much less children?

It's different if I'm already with a person, love him, and he gets stricken with an illness. But I can't deal with someone whom I don't know and who has a MASSIVE health problem. I can't do it. And if I'm being selfish and it damns me to Hell, I guess I'm going there.  I have to be true to myself.

He also sounds just so damn grateful that I'm talking to him. I find that a big turn off. To me it's not a big deal to talk to him and if I thought that he'd be satisfied just being a friend, it wouldn't bother me so much. But he's already planning Valentine's Day for us. And I'm just like, I'm busy.

He's constantly "virtually hugging" me, telling me how sweet I am (I am sweet, but he doesn't know me well enough to judge my character, apparently), and trying to make plans with a fervor that creeps me out.

So there it is. Why can't I meet someone who is gainfully employed and not creepy?